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The Weight Loss Community is DRAINING!

Let’s talk about it.

So, everything I do is confidence-focused. It’s the inner work. I feel like building your confidence and increasing your self-esteem benefits all aspects of your life. And, when it’s up, it’s stuck — you’re able to conquer whatever you set out to in life. You also happen to lose weight in my classes, if that’s your intention, because you forget that you’re actually working out. However, I am not apart of the “weight loss community”.

When I first started my journey, the WLC consisted of people who just wanted to find the motivation and support as they shared their own. It’s become so limited that’s it’s almost discouraging. The posts are predictable. The bait sayings are now all clichès. It’s one big ol’ robotic world. Hell, even I got to a point where I told my friends that I don’t know how I got in this space but I’m so fukn tired of “losing weight” (the business if it all). I completely disconnected from my own journey.

Recently, I’ve watched an influencer lose weight and then gain weight while she was going through a divorce. And now, almost every post is referring to her getting back to a size. Every time she posts I think… “but are YOU ok, sis? You went through a lot. Leave some room for you.” I’m so close to doing a sister check-in because life is so much more than the “look” of a thing. But, the aesthetics. 🤷🏽‍♀️

The rhetoric that your life should only consist of waking up, eating, working out and sleep has provided unrealistic expectations for a journey that’s been lifelong for many. The food shaming. The fat phobia. The elitist mindset. It’s the reason why some people are afraid to show themselves OUTSIDE of that construct and why others want no parts or have issues staying committed.

What is your why? What makes your heart beat and your soul full? Do you have hobbies? Any non-scale goals? If your love, therapy, mental capacity, strength and existence is nothing without a sit-up or a gym, perhaps we need to start digging a little deeper. Matter of fact. Throw the whole “gym is my therapy” clichè away. It may be a release, but it’s not treating your rejection, codependency, social anxiety issues, etc.

And yes, this is coming from me. A woman who has literally been every woman in the room. 300+ lbs? Been there. One-derland? Been there. Corporate.  Entrepreneur. Wife. Mom. Student. Fad diets and restrictive eating styles. Abundant and broke. Saved and savage. Traumatized and triumphant.

But, I’m living. I’m alive. I’m well.

Still fine as fuk.

I enjoy fellowshipping with folk.

I like a nice cocktail.

My schedule doesn’t flow the same daily, so I do what I can.

I am strong, with endurance and still happen to lose weight without dishing a skewed reality.

And, I’m here to remind you that you can, too. So, keep your head up and continue to do YOUR best, even if your reality doesn’t look like what the influencers post to be. Love y’all 💋

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Thank you so much. My journey as well. I appreciate you. See ya in the trap.


Tamara Scott
Tamara Scott
Dec 27, 2022

I've always looked at this journey as losing weight. I had to get to a certain size, fueled by hurt, insecurities, and low self esteem. After years of beating myself up for not achieving those goals i am making a shift. I am finally shifting my focus on simply being healthy and being happy with myself. I've been unhappy with my reflection for so long I have no clue what that looks or feels like. Trying to fit into a certain standard that's unrealistic for my body has drained me. Thank you for sharing your journey AD. Sometimes you have to hear or see something that makes you realize you're doing the same thing. So no longer am I simp…


So good! That ‘but are YOU ok, sis?’ hit me right in the chest. 💛

Ashley Diane
Ashley Diane
Dec 12, 2022
Replying to

Because that’s what REALLY matters. 🥰 We’re so much better when we operate from a healing space vs one that’s bandaged.


I really appreciate this post. The last 3 years of my life has revolved around my weight loss journey. I lost a good amount of weight and then worked harder than I've ever worked before and was the most consistent I've ever been and I lost even more weight and I noticed the changes in my face and everything. Then I went on vacation and then immediately had a hysterectomy and was not allowed to work out. That was in May, I have not been able to get back to where I was and I've gained about 30lbs. I have been so hard on my self ever since. I need to love myself and give myself grace throughout …

Replying to

I had a hysterectomy last year as a result of endometriosis, adenomyosis & uterine fibroids a diagnosis of Infertility !!Bae Bae my mental health was on a spiral but let me say this Jesus & therapy & family help me to take small steps to heal my mind as my body is healing. It takes patience & kindness towards yourself to move forward. And there maybe some setbacks but you learn to flow with them . For me It was 31 years of pain it doesn’t just fall away and you my dear are not alone! Be Kind to yourself , be patient w/ you ! Do a soul check. Ashley I believe in Non- scale victories! I’m not where…

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